I Think I Might Have Inhaled You
by sparklylulz
Summary: It's their story. The most important story. -Jalex AU [Hiatus]
1. prologue

**a/n: **I'm sure this is not really very canon compliant, but it's an idea I've wanted to write out for a while. Feedback is always appreciated!

**I definitely do not own WoWP or the title.**

–

_I think I might have inhaled you_

–

**I. _Prologue – March 2015_**

Her leg is bleeding, the crimson color staining the ground around her, and it's Justin's face that appears over her head. Her Justin, the annoying, overachiever, but here at the end he's something completely different to her.

She lifts a shaky hand to his dirty face, his own blood gets muddled in with hers but they've always been more than blood and bone. The shade of his eyes might be the last thing she ever sees and for some reason that doesn't bother her in the least. If she wants anyone next to her finally broken body is defeated she wants it to be Justin.

"Hey," she breathes softly, still tracing his face gently, breath catching in her lungs from the pain. His arms are impossibly warm against her clammy skin but she doesn't pull away.

"Hey," his breath is warm, too, like the fingers now holding her hands. He isn't crying, but his eyes are doing the squinty thing they did when Max had been kidnapped and their parent's bodies were recovered.

She knows she's all that's left for him and now there won't even be that much.

"I wish you'd won the tournament." It's the most honest thing she's ever said aloud in front of him, but she needs him to know. He's always been the best of everything, and after she grew up, where there was jealousy, there is now only pride. She always knew who deserved magic the most and she hates that he's going to watch her die without any hope of saving her.

He lets out a short laugh filled with no humor at all, "Max won fair and square, it's why he's still..." _Alive_ hangs in the air between them, she knows why he doesn't want to say it. It's such a small word, something which used to seem insignificant and she's never really thought about it until now.

"I know... but you wanted it more than us, you trained harder." The pain is causing her vision to blur and she grits her teeth because she wants to take in his face for however much time she has left.

Justin's fingers tremble as he pushes her hair out of her eyes and she knows that he's going to cry. He was always a crier. She can't see the scars running along his arms but she feels them beneath her own battered hands and smiles.

"With these badass battle wounds all the girls are going to want you." Her quip doesn't make him smile, instead he turns his face away to the dusty ground.

"Alex," he starts but she places her fingers across his lips because she knows what he's going to say and she can't hear it. Not now. Not here.

"Tell me about something. Something stupid, just talk like you used to." The words fall from her lips between gasps but he catches them and he looks down at her for a few seconds before readjusting himself behind her.

"Okay, it's not stupid but it's the only thing I can talk about." She glances up, eyebrow arched and he swears he's looking four year into the past.

"It's the story of you and I, Alex. The most important story." He whispers softly as she closes her eyes with a smile.


	2. i

**a/n: **I hope you enjoy this, I'm not sure how I feel about it just yet._  
><em>

_–_

_I think I might have inhaled you_

–

**II. _Part One – June 2012 - May 2013_**

**June. **

When Alex Russo manages to graduate high school there are more than than a few shocked faces in the crowd. Honestly, she's not that surprised by the looks she gets, but if she hadn't graduated from high school she couldn't apply for design school or rub it in Justin's face.

It's funny, though, that the only face she recognizes in the sea of families crowded in the sweaty gym is her brother's. He's wearing a stupid tie that he must have bought during the past three years because she would never let him in the house with around his neck.

After the ceremony there is too much hugging and not enough cake, besides she hates attention when it comes from doing the right thing and ends up slipping away from her own party. It's not really a party, it's just her mom and dad going through her photo album with Harper and she hates baby pictures about as much as going to the dentist.

She steals half the cake while they aren't looking and goes up to her room, pleased to have five and a half seconds of being alone. She's glad Justin is the golden child because it's super boring to have her parents look at her with no trace of irritation.

Before she knows it, she's ended up rerouting to his room, the cake long forgotten as she glances through the crack between his door and the wall.

It's not like she's never seen Justin with his shirt off, of course he's normally too modest to even show his shoulders, but there's something that stirs in her each time she's seen him like this since she was fourteen. It feels like a fire is flaring up in her entire body and her knuckles are white from clutching the plate between her hands.

He's not just shirtless this time- he's only wearing a towel around his waist, his back still speckled with droplets of water.

College has treated her brother well. He's no longer the skinny, nerdy boy she remembers. She's not really sure how _Justin_ managed to develop abs and pecs considering most of the heavy lifting he did was his textbooks. It's weird for her to look at the boy in this bedroom surrounded by dolls and think that he's a man now.

Alex hears her mother's footsteps on the stairs and turns quickly, cheeks flushed, finding her way to her own room.

When she wakes in the morning she shakes her head at her dreams and laughs it off as some kind of puberty thing but she can't look Justin in the eye over breakfast.

–

**August. **

Alex has never been particularly afraid of many things in her life, least of which is moving into college and starting design school. Of course, her parents are irritated that she's going all the way to Philadelphia and Justin is even more irritated because he's already going to USciences for pre-med and the last thing he wants is a little sister ten minutes away at the Academy of Art University. She tells him to suck it.

She worked harder than she ever had before to get accepted and, yeah, she had considered that Justin would be so close to her, but decided she still wanted to do it. It was also going to be nice to not smell like sandwich meat every afternoon.

It was easiest just to pack up and ride with Justin, not that she had many things to bring, and at least the trip wouldn't be spent listening to their father singing 80s power ballads like every other trip they'd taken in their lives. She kissed her mother goodbye, and tried to appear indifferent to her father's tears, and lastly there was Max.

Little Max who she'd teased and pranked since he was old enough to walk. He gave her a stupid grin, "Does this mean I get both your rooms now?"

It'll be the last time she speaks to Max in person before the tournament but she doesn't know that so she just slaps the back of his head and follows Justin's lead out the door.

She sleeps most of the ride, which is fine since Justin doesn't seem keen on talking anyway. He doesn't have to worry about moving stuff in because his apartment is just as he left it and she's pretty jealous that he's a senior and has a city apartment.

It's hot out so they elect to roll the windows down in his beaten up little Toyota and she sticks her feet out the window, which elicits a long lecture about proper safety protocol when on the highway. She rolls her eyes and wiggles her toes just to irritate him.

She tries not to let her eyes linger on him for too long, but his short sleeve shirt shows the definitions of his arms a little too much and she's suddenly a lot hotter. She gets flashes of dreams with those arms, his tan skin pressed against hers- a perfect match.

But this is Justin, the same Justin who she's tried to get rid of since the age of two; the same Justin she's tried to undermine for as long as she can remember, and still there was subtle shift somewhere along the way. She can't put a finger on _when _it happened, only that it did, and it had managed to derail her life completely in the process.

She half expects him to just dump her stuff in the street and drive off but then he wouldn't be her brother, (though life might have been a lot easier if he weren't), still he stays and hauls all her things into her crappy freshman dorm. It's too hot outside to be carrying anything up three flights of stairs, so it's a good thing she's only brought her clothes, design tools, and a few pictures of her family.

"Hey, I remember this one!" Justin grins from behind her on the stairs, his eyes fixed upon a picture of himself and Alex at the beach, one arm slung over her shoulders. It a rare photo with her smile and he wonders if there's a copy of it anywhere.

"Me too, it was right after you'd tattled on me to mom and dad for knocking down your sandcastle." She rolls her eyes and unlocks the small door, not bothering to turn around and see Justin's exasperated expression.

By the time they get everything set up it's nightfall and Justin's practically asleep on his feet. Her roommate hasn't arrived yet, not that she particularly cares, and she won't admit, (not even to herself), that maybe she likes spending time with Justin more than she should.

"Don't be a stranger." He says, walking through the doorway and she just throws him an infamous smirk.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll be sure to stop by when I run out of food." He just shakes his head, because he knows Alex a lot better than she thinks he does. By saying this she's pretty much admitting that she will come and see him, which is enough for him.

It's lonely the first night in the empty, creaky room full of nothing but silence and she hates every second of it. Before she knows what she's doing, it's one in the morning and she's walking the streets of Philadelphia.

Justin's apartment isn't far and she knows his room number since he left it on her refrigerator like the nerd he is. She knocks three times, the sound makes her flinch a little from the urgency because she really doesn't want to come off desperate.

When the door opens, the sight is warm enough to thaw even her icy heart. His dark hair is a mess, sticking in every direction, accompanying his sleepy eyes and shirtless torso. He looks at her with a confused expression and she huffs impatiently.

"Am I gonna have to stand out here all night?" She snaps, causing him to jump a little and apologize.

"No, no, come in. I just didn't know what you were doing here." He admits, closing the door behind and following her to the living room. She sighs and looks down because even though she expected questions, (god all he ever has is more questions), she didn't want to answer them.

"It was just weird. The room was creaking and stuff. There might be a ghost there." Her words don't fool him and a huge grin breaks out across his goofy face. The smile both shoots warmth into her and makes her want to slap him at the same time.

"You missed me." He says in that irritating voice he gets when he knows he's right about something. She grits her teeth and shoots him a glare.

"Whatever, loser, can I stay the night or not?" Her tone doesn't make the stupid smile waver in the least as he nods and begins grabbing blankets and pillows out of his closet.

"I'll take the couch, you can have my room." He says easily, spreading a quilt their mother had made for him over the sofa, she scrunches her nose in return and shakes her head softly.

"No, that's your bed and the couch looks great from here." The idea of sleeping in his bed with his scent everywhere is too much to take. Bad decisions tended to be made when she wasn't thinking clearly enough as it was.

He gives her a weird expression before nodding in understanding. He finishes setting up her makeshift bed and she wonders why he's always so _nice_ to her.

Maybe it's the sleep deprivation, but as he tells her goodnight she grabs his arm and when he looks down at the rare contact she whispers a soft '_thanks_' to his eternal surprise.

"Anytime." He smiles back and she won't realize it until much later, but that's one promise he always kept.

–

**October.**

It's October when she gets her grade back for her first college design. In high school she really didn't care about D's or F's mostly because she hated high school. The pointy 'D' on this assignment, however, knocks her in the chest and breathing in a regular pattern becomes a much more difficult task. College is different than high school because this matters, it just matters so much more to her.

Her fingers are pressing familiar numbers as she leaves class, not really knowing where else to turn. It's a quick reply, which means he isn't in class or helping out as a teacher's assistant. It takes less than ten minutes to get to his place, (she's gotten better at backstreets), and he's opening the door in his stupid suit before she can catch her breath.

"Rough day?" He asks as she side steps him into the brightly lit apartment; his place is probably the cleanest home of any twenty one year old to ever live. Every book was in its alphabetical place and there wasn't even a speck of dust on the window sills.

"Jesus, Justin, maybe you should try _not_ dusting your shelves within an inch of their lives." She deflects because that's what she does. Alex isn't like Harper, or Justin, or even Max; she does not wear her heart on her sleeve- sometimes she barely carries it in her chest.

Thinking about Harper and Max hurts because she misses them more than she thought she would, but Justin seems to understand the flash of hurt that crosses her face and smiles at her, the gesture causes the ice surrounding her heart to melt just a little bit more.

"You wanna get some food?" He asks and she silently thanks him in her mind before throwing him another notorious eye roll.

"How long have you known me?" He laughs at her words and they end up sprawled on his floor eating Chinese and watching American Idol like some semblance of an ordinary people and not wizards. It's odd, because she always thought she'd have to use magic so much in the real world but it's just the opposite. She barely thinks about it most days, and only enough to realize Max will come of age by May and she'll have to fight her siblings. She doesn't let herself linger on the thought.

"Y'know, everyone has a bad day every once in a while, especially in college." The offhand comment slips out somewhere between two commercial breaks and she can't help but be a little surprised by Justin's bravery at voicing it.

"You're different," Is her reply, because she has zero filter all the time and sometimes these things just fall out of her mouth. His hazel eyes flick up to hers quickly and he has an expression that she can't ever remember seeing him wear before.

His face is so close to hers and she knows that she could just lean over and press her lips against his before he would even know what was happening. Maybe he knows what she's thinking because he pulls away too quickly and his eyes are suddenly fascinated with the floor.

"You're different, too." He breathes later, and she almost forgets where he's coming from, but there is no trace of sarcasm or mirth on his face.

There's a brush of fingers and even if she can't understand why her body is reacting this way, she knows that there's something he isn't telling her.

He sits up, shaking his head quickly and then glances at her, "You want something to drink? I'm gonna grab some napkins." With that the moment is over and she's left, eyes wide and heart racing on his rug, feeling more disappointed than ever before.

–

The calls from home grow fewer and fewer, mostly just to check in on her and tell her how the shop is doing. Alex is a little thankful for this, she hates hearing the sadness in her mother's voice, especially knowing how she'd feel if she knew that most of Alex's days were spent by doodling Justin's face in her sketch books.

Halloween rolls around quickly. She both loves and hates the holiday, because she can scare small children and not get reprimanded, (unless Justin's around), but she hates looking at the stupid witch and wizard costumes with boils and fake noses and all of it just makes her sick. Sometimes she just sits, twirling her wand between her fingers, wondering how ordinary people lived their lives.

Was it because she wasn't mortal that she felt this way about Justin? She'd find out in less than a year if she lost the tournament, and a part of her feared that realization more than losing her powers. She could live without being a wizard anymore, but she wasn't so sure about the rest of it.

What was she supposed to do if this _thing_ never went away? How could she spend the rest of her life wanting her _brother_?

The knocks on Justin's door snap her out of her depressed thoughts and she reaches over to grab the bowl of candy as he pulls open the door. The little vampire and werewolf are all smiles as they pick out their candies, but Alex's heart constricts and Justin's brow furrows. They close the door and turn to each other.

"It still sucks, doesn't it?" She asks, voice quiet, because she hasn't talked about Mason with anyone.

Justin nods a little, "Yeah. Yeah, it does." His arm goes around her slender shoulders for the first physical contact in weeks and she breathes in every second of it.

They don't move until the next trick-or-treaters show up, thankfully dressed as a pumpkin and Superman. Alex gives them more candy than she should- it's her only way of showing gratitude to them.

She stays the night, mostly because she hates her roommate and her dorm room and Justin's couch is literally more comfortable than her school bed. It helps that she can hear him snoring softly in the other room, almost like they could be more than what they are.

–

**December.**

They spend Thanksgiving at the local Chinese place, as the roads are near impassable and she doesn't trust Justin's driving in the summer, let alone in a blizzard. It's sort of nice, since they have each other at least and their parents send them some extra cash to have a nice dinner for once. Alex blows her half on fabric and sketchbooks and too much caffeine, while Justin stores his away for rent or food, so Chinese is really their only option.

December rolls around and there is no sign that the snow is going to lighten up. The weather is weird, it's the first time Alex gets a small feeling in her stomach that tells her something isn't right. She brushes it off as paranoia, Justin doesn't seem worried and if he isn't worried then she definitely shouldn't be.

Finals are suddenly upon both Russo siblings and Alex doesn't see Justin for a week straight, since she's locked in her dorm drinking energy drinks and sewing as if her life depends on it and he's off trying to memorize complicated chemical arrangements. She doesn't tell him that she drops an application in the mail for an internship in the city for the summer.

She just can't go back to New York and sandwiches now that she knows what there really is for her.

The day finals end is too cold to even walk outside, but it doesn't matter. Justin has another two days so she quietly celebrates with a microwave dinner and cheesecake. Her roommate is already gone home when she wakes the next morning, leaving behind her mess and a note. Alex can't help but roll her eyes.

Her parents call her that night to ask if she would be willing to stay with Justin for break. They don't want her traveling in the snow and she's afraid she sounds too eager when she responds that she doesn't mind staying in Pennsylvania.

"I'm just glad you and Justin have gotten so close." Theresa's voice is thick and Alex feels too uncomfortable to keep talking so she fakes having another call to get out of it.

The dorms are empty by the next day, and she's carrying a bag full of clothes on the subway, wondering what it'll be like to spend a month with Justin. It terrifies her, but she puts on a brave face comprised of sarcasm, indifference, and boredom to greet him with.

"I hope you don't want your couch anytime soon," She smirks as she throws her clothes down on said piece of furniture, "Because it's becoming my permanent home for a month." She frowns a little bit.

"Oh God, please tell me this isn't my future." She whispers and he smirks, considering this could very easily become her future.

"Yeah, yeah. Just don't break anything. Or wash your lights and darks together, because I know you did that at home and it's really not good for your clothes-" He starts and she has a warmth grow in her chest at his stupid rants.

"Oh, who are you? An eighty year old woman?" The vein in his neck pulses out of irritation but she's just grateful that things aren't too awkward. Then again, he's standing five feet away with his shirt on, but still, small reliefs are nice too.

–

A week later finds her at Christmas eve, staring at their pitiful tree that he found for cheap at a garage sale. Justin said it had character, Alex said it had fleas. Still, there were several presents under it, mostly from her mom and dad. She briefly wondered what they were doing- probably drinking hot chocolate and playing some dumb board game. Her chest aches at the thought of them all being so far away.

"What're you doing up? Santa can't come if you don't go to sleep." Justin teases softly from his doorway, thankfully wearing sweats and a soft tank. The sight of his bare arms do manage to stir something within her until she catches a flash of black ink.

"Is that what I think it is?" She asks, launching from the couch to where he stands, looking a little sheepish. His eyes follow hers down to his bicep, watching as her hand shoots out to trace the letters. "You didn't have this over the summer." She says quietly, taking in the Latin words.

"Uh, no. I got it a few weeks ago." He replies uneasily, "I... wanted to do something dangerous." She looks up at him and wonders when he changed so much, because the Justin from a few years ago would never consider a tattoo and yet, here he stood, Latin inked into his skin.

"What does it mean?"

"_I think, therefore I am_. It's from Descartes." He's greeted with a blank face and just sighs, "Never mind, it's just a silly tattoo."

"I think it's pretty badass." She smiles, and for once it isn't a smirk; she really means it. This is a side to her brother she's never seen before, but it's quickly become one of her favorite sides.

"Yeah?" He asks, breathing gently, eyes dropping to her lips. She wants him to lean down so much it hurts, but instead he straightens up, eyes unfocused and forces a smile.

"We should, uh, both get to bed. Presents to open in the morning and stuff." He turns and shuts his door gently, and she goes to bed disappointed and doesn't sleep at all.

Their parents sent Justin books and Alex a new iPod, inclosed with a letter and some cash. Harper's gift is a new hat, just as ridiculous as the girl herself. Max, being Max, sends coupons for local restaurants.

Justin's gift from her is left under the tree and he pulls it up slowly, looking a little shocked to have gotten anything at all, and even more surprised that it's wrapped. It's torture to watch him unwrap it, and nerves eat away at her insides as he pulls the lid off the box.

"Oh. Wow, Alex." He whispers softly, fingers tracing the dark fabric, "This is.. wow." She's pretty proud of herself as he tugs the suit out of it's wrappings to admire it.

"It's for work and your official stuff because that thing you're wearing now is an embarrassment to fashion." He chuckles at her blunt reply and drops it back into it's box before pulling a tiny gift from behind his back.

Her fingers tremble slightly as she opens the small box, finding a shiny key on a chain. She looks up in surprise and it's his turn to smirk. "It's to the apartment, so that you can come anytime you want, even if I'm not here."

The gift effects her more than she thinks it should, there are tears fighting their way out and she has to look away from him or else she knows she's going to cry.

It's in that moment that Alex Russo realizes she's in love with her brother and there is nothing she can do about it.

"It's perfect. Thanks, Justin." The words are a little muffled but he gives her a smile of pride.

The rest of the day is lazy, spent watching cheesy horror movies on Justin's small tv, cartons of food spread between them. The shared blanket ends up mostly being spread across Alex, though Justin steals the pillows, and Alex thinks it'd be nice to just spend the rest of her life this way, with nothing else to worry about. Justin is asleep before midnight, his head leaning on her legs, making her stomach turn backflips.

She falls asleep to that feeling, her fingers laced in his dark hair and a small smile covering her face.

–

New Years Eve is kind of lame, since neither of them really have any friends in the city to celebrate with. He suggests they make a game night out of it, but she tells him they aren't quite that pathetic yet. They grab their coats and brace the cold of late December, finding a small bar to seek warmth in.

There's a pretty crappy band playing in the back, but Alex is too busy trying to convince Justin to buy her alcohol to pay much attention to them. Justin may have a tattoo but he's not relaxed enough to start helping his younger sister break the law. So it's really a night full of every different soda the place offers.

The countdown to midnight is sickening, like a hand ticking the moments of her life away. She watches the couples get closer for that magic moment when the calenders and clocks will change, but it's Justin's face her eyes can't leave. She doesn't know when she decides to do it- but at the ten second mark she speaks.

"Don't hate me." She breathes quickly.

"Wha-"

His question is cut off when she presses her lips against his, taking in the warmth of his mouth and the pounding in her ears. He's still as a stone, but she won't give up, not yet, and after a few seconds he moves his lips in sync with hers. Her heart might explode but she keeps kissing him, her tongue urging his lips to part. He obeys her for once and while confetti rains down on them and people cheer in the background, Alex and Justin Russo continue their first kiss.

–

**February.**

They don't talk about the kiss. It's not like they purposefully avoided it at first, but classes start up the day after New Years and Alex goes back to school. Justin doesn't respond to her texts or messages, and she knows why.

The kiss was enough to solidify that there was no one else for her, not really. Mason had been different- kissing him felt like hurricane. Sometimes there was just too much, even for Alex who loved too much. Justin was warm and smooth and calm, like a familiar blanket or coat that reminded her of safety.

She doesn't bother going to see him because she just can't face that look in his eyes that is bound to greet her if she did. It's not the first heartbreak she's dealt with, but somehow it's worse. She's left alone without her family or friends and she wonders why no one warned her about how lonely college really is.

_You're an ass and I miss you._ She texts late one night when she's been up a little too long and delirium makes her do things she is sure to regret. She wakes up to no reply and decides that they must really be through with talking to each other.

It's a week later when her phone rings in the middle of the night and she answers it with a sleepy and irritated voice, "This had better be good."

"_I miss you too_." Is the only reply she gets before the line is broken and she looks down just in time to see Justin's face fade from her screen.

It's the first night she lets herself cry to sleep over him.

–

Valentine's Day usually has no impact on her life what-so-ever, since she thinks it's the biggest waste of time and money. But the Valentine's of 2013 is harder than the one's before it, as she watches kids on campus being extra annoying. She pulls up Justin's contact ID on her phone when she feels a little masochistic but has to close out of it before she starts crying again.

She hates what he's done to her.

It's easy to get booze on campus, most of the upperclassmen will sell it for a cheap price just to pay for their marijuana or cigarettes. She knows a guy in her building with connections and she ends up with a bottle of wine.

Alex, surprisingly to most people, doesn't tolerate alcohol well. It's not long before she's a little too far gone and she's stumbling through the streets of Philadelphia to her brother's apartment at midnight. She bangs on the door loud enough to wake up the whole building and Justin opens the door with alarm on his face.

"Alex, what the hell?" He hisses, but she's not listening because he isn't wearing a shirt again and she wants to punch him.

"I hate you. I hate you so much." She says, "I didn't ask to be this fucked up, Justin!" Her head hurts a little and he pulls her out of the hall before his neighbors can come out.

"Alex, I think you just need to sleep this off." He speaks rationally, but unfortunately this tactic only serves to anger her further.

"No, no I don't." Her voice drops lower, but with horror he realizes the anger has turned into sadness. "It's always going to be you and I can't help that. Don't hate me for something I can't control." She whispers, dropping her head.

His arms go around her automatically, like every other time she's needed him to be there for her. He pulls her against his chest and she lets out a brief sob, trying to get control over herself. Alex doesn't like this being vulnerable thing at all.

"Oh, Alex. I don't hate you." He says gently, head resting on hers, "But you're my _sister. _You aren't supposed to want to kiss your sister." Justin, who loves lists and rules and structure, now faces chaos in his sister's small body.

"We've never really been normal." She hiccups, a sad smile underlining her features and he has to agree with that.

"Let's get you to bed." Is his answer and she nods because she's only just realized how incredibly _tired_ she is.

"Can I stay with you?" She sounds small, like a child and he looks like he's going to refuse when she speaks again, "Nothing funny. I just... don't wanna be alone."

He nods in defeat and they walk to his bedroom, where she curls up against him in the warm sea of blankets and his scent. She rolls over to face him before she loses consciousness and touches his cheek.

"I don't actually hate you."

"I know, Alex." He breathes, stroking her hair gently until she closes her eyes and surrenders to sleep.

The next morning is too bright and too noisy for the middle Russo child, who wakes up in a strange bed and has only a few blissful moments before her memory returns to her. Justin isn't next to her anymore, but she can hear him in the kitchen and she doesn't know how she can ever face him again.

"You're finally up, I see." He says, causing her to jump. She looks at the clock and rolls her eyes.

"It's only ten, Justin." It's only a half hearted snark, mainly since she feels like puking and crying and she really wants him to go away.

"About last night-" He starts but she shakes her head. She can't do this. Not now.

"Just forget it."

"No. We need to talk about it." She hates that he's just as stubborn as she is. "I know what you want from me, but you're my sister."

"Thanks, Captain Obvious, but I think you've said that already." She replies, standing from the bed, intent on finding an out from the conversation. She tries to walk past him, but he catches her arm.

"Alex." He says sternly.

"Justin." She mocks, "I'll live. This isn't a big deal."

He looks at her incredulously, "You spent last night yelling and sobbing into my shoulder. I think it's kind of a big deal." His words cause her to narrow her eyes and glare up at him.

"Jesus, you think you're so high and mighty, but I think you might have forgotten that you kissed me back." She spits at him, "And I think that terrifies you, because you want to do it again, but you won't. Instead you just keep living in denial because _that's what you do._"

He looks at her like she's slapped him but she doesn't move away, despite her head pounding and her stomach turning.

"Why don't you be a man for once and actually do what you want. I know you have it in you." She says glancing at his tattoo before returning her gaze to his disheveled hair and tired eyes.

Before she knows what's happening his lips are on hers and he's kissing her like she's never been kissed in her life. It's not soft or gentle at all, this is a kiss of anger, almost bruising to her lips, but she pushes herself into him, clasping his face in her hands because he isn't going anywhere this time. He groans against her mouth, pushing her against the doorframe, his hands digging into her waist.

He pulls away from her, breathing deeply, and swears softly. "How do you always manage to get to me?"

She gives him a wicked grin. "I always get what I want." And they both know that's the most accurate statement ever.

"But I think I need to go puke now." She says suddenly, turning to get to bathroom in time.

"How charming." He calls after her, before going to make coffee for two.

–

**April.**

They aren't exactly boyfriend and girlfriend, really she has no idea what they are. People who spend their nights watching American Idol and eating Chinese and occasionally kissing. People who collect action figures and like to sew. Not exactly the most normal of people, but she's happy to live without labels.

March passed without any significance, spring breaks are spent surrounded by cups of coffee and fabric for her. She'd been made a finalist for the internship, and she has to finish ten pieces by the middle of April. He was getting ready to graduate and apply for graduate's school so they didn't see each other as much.

"The tournament is less than a month away." She voices one night as they're laying on the couch together. He probably hasn't slept a full night for a week straight, but she has to get it out. It's all she's been thinking about for a month.

Crumb visited their parents to let them know when the competition would be and since then she's tried to use magic as much as possible. He gives her a sympathetic look and takes her small hand in his.

"Yeah. I've been training." She wonders where he's found the time because she barely manages to shower every day in between everything else. Maybe losing her magic would be a blessing. Unless Justin won and lived forever, while she faded away.

"I've been meaning to tell you- I got an internship over the summer." She only got the letter that morning, but she can't even hide the grin on her face as he looks up at her with wide eyes and smiles.

"That's great!" His smile is infectious and she finds herself laughing.

"Yeah, I was kind of hoping I could stay here." She tries to sound casual but it comes out a little earnest and nervous. He stares at her for a moment before smirking at her.

"Alex, you sort of live here already." She knows that's a yes.

She doesn't say it but she also knows that this is what love is and it's the best feeling in the whole world. Instead, she curls into him and steals the blanket again.

–

**May.**

Max turns seventeen a week before the tournament, but Alex is stuck in classes and Justin has to graduate, so they miss his birthday and don't get home until the day before they're due to fight each other for the title of family wizard.

Harper wishes them luck before she leaves that night, giving Alex a hug. Harper was always more than Alex deserved, but Alex is greedy and hugs her friend back before she goes to bed that evening.

None of them sleep the night before the competition, and Alex wishes for Justin's arms more than anything. Not touching him or looking at him has been harder than she thought it would and she worries all night that she'll lose and Justin will win.

It's unfortunate that she never considered that Max could be a threat.

The next morning is a quiet breakfast, and her dad tries to force awkward conversation and her mother keeps washing the dishes.

They all stand around the portal, ready to fight, and she watches Max and her parents go through. As she steps forward, Justin grabs her arm and looks her hard in the eye.

"I'm gonna love you, no matter what happens." He seems to have knocked her in the chest as he steps through in front of her, but she feels a little less like she's walking to her ultimate doom.

It's odd because she's always expected the tournament to be a lot harder than it actually is. Granted, she's been through a lot by this point and is more prepared than for anything else in her years of using magic, but still, it goes by in slow motion, almost like she's watching someone else's life unfold in front of her.

She detaches herself from the situation, becoming calm and indifferent, which makes it easier to compartmentalize the emotions of having to fight her siblings. She and Justin haven't compensated for Max, though, who fights harder than they had imagined he would have in him.

When they get into the maze is the point where she realizes she's going to lose. She watches as Justin is attacked by vines and she just can't leave him. She hacks away at the magical vines as Max rushes by, not paying any attention to his siblings until he reaches the edge of the maze and looks back at them.

Justin looks at her briefly before turning to Max and nodding, because he's won, fair and square. They watch him take the final step towards immortality, their hands clasped together and, honestly, she's a little relieved.

Losing her powers is painful on a physical and an emotional level. She's waited her entire life for the moment that would decide if she would live forever or not and she at least felt more prepared and that was a small comfort.

The explosion, however, is not expected. She sees the fire before she hears the sound, but Justin has pulled her down out of the brunt of the blast. Max dives out of the way just in time as the stadium is lit up. The last thing she sees before the black is Justin's face, lips moving above her.

–

The ringing in her ears when she wakes up is disconcerting, but she looks around hastily at unfamiliar surroundings until her eyes land on Justin in the corner, his face covered in ash and hands in cuts.

"Justin? What happened?" Her throat is dry and scratchy and it hurts to talk but she surveys the room again, "Where are mom and dad?" His eyes snap to hers and she feels something in her chest sinking at the expression on his face.

"Alex, mom and dad are missing." He says quickly, his gaze falling upon the floor before he continues.

"The wizarding world is at war."


	3. ii

**a/n: **so this has been sitting on my computer for literally two years. Thanks to all the reviews I've gotten recently as they inspired me to post it. (The continuation of this part will be posted in another chapter.)

_I think I might have inhaled you_

**III. **_**Part Two – January 2014 – November 2014**_

**January.**

Alex Russo plants her feet firmly in the dirt outside a bombed building, the ruins still smoking behind her as she quickly surveys the horizon for any survivors – enemy or friendly. The air is thick with humidity, and she can practically feel her arms cooking under the midday sun. All she smells is death and ash, but she's kind of gotten used to that over the past seven months.

It's unusually hot for January in New York, but that's just a side effect. Blizzards in July and floods in December – even the atmosphere has changed.

"Fitzwilliam, this is Elizabeth. There are no survivors." She says calmly into her comm, wiping the dirt from her face.

The other end of the line crackles, but the familiar voice comes after a few seconds, "Roger that Miss Elizabeth, time to move out. Keep your head down, hostile forces are still in the area."

Justin's tone is the same worry that she remembers from the old days. _The good days_. He sounds so much like their mother that she feels a lump forming in her throat and she has to force herself to turn and make her way back to camp.

"Aye, aye, Captain." She says, just to irritate him. He doesn't respond, and that's how she knows she's succeeded.

The walk back takes about half an hour, but she doesn't see any sign of life during the trip. The hidden sewer cover moves at the touch of her palm and she slowly descends down the ladder and back into her new life.

Living underground for the better part of the last year hasn't been pleasant, and with no sign of their parents or Max, Justin is all she has left. She still remembers him as that lame, bookworm from before, but now he stands rigidly, a gun holster strapped to each thigh, and a determined look fixed upon his face.

He's in the command tower with Juliet when she gets back, and she pointedly does_ not_ linger on how close they're sitting. It's been three months since they rescued Juliet from a prison in Iowa. When they'd reached her, she'd been badly burnt from sunlight, the subject of a torture experiment.

"Run into any trouble on the way?" He asks, just like always.

She shakes her head, "Family of four this time, two kids, both under seventeen."

Kids were always the hardest deaths, and she can't help but see Max's face instead. Justin exhales sadly, turning to Juliet and letting her know to add a few more to the list of dead. Alex watches how Juliet smiles and brushes Justin's arm casually and she wishes she could scream.

The worst part about being in love with your own brother is that you can't tell anyone, and since everyone on base knows them as the Russo siblings, they haven't even so much as hugged in months.

Changing her focus, Alex turns to leave the room, but Justin's warm hand catches hers and when she turns back, he's giving her a small smile. His fingers rub a soothing pattern into her cracked and burnt skin.

"I'm glad you're okay, Alex." He says honestly and she feels her heart swell painfully.

"Yeah, me too." She answers, turning to go down and see if she can help in medical. (Turns out stitching a dress isn't so much different from stitching human skin.)

Most of the people on base are survivors like her. They joined the Resistance Army either out of fear, or revenge, or because they didn't have anywhere else to go. Jake who runs the weapons outpost hits on her a lot, but she plays it off easily. He's probably about six years older than her and too good for her anyway. Aimee in the makeshift kitchen is only seventeen and she adores Alex, but she talks so much that all Alex can think is _Harper_.

Mrs. Connors leads the medical bay with Justin at her side, the only two with medical training in the compound, but Alex learns quickly about wounds and sutures and first aid. The hospital ward is the busiest place in the entire camp, and sometimes Alex feels like she's in an episode of that old show her dad used to watch with all those doctors in Hawaiian shirts.

"Alex, can you help the boy in bed three? He's got a few lacerations on his face, but we found him with his little sister. She..." Mrs. Connors doesn't finish, but this isn't Alex's first rodeo.

They always pick her to break the news to the younger rescues. She's blunt enough to get it over with, but she can also sympathize. Underneath it all, Alex Russo's heart maybe outlined with lead, but it's marshmallow on the inside. Telling them the news really isn't as hard as it used to be anymore.

Pulling back the curtain reveals a boy no older than twelve, his dark skin is smeared with the dried blood coating most of his wounds. While she examines his injuries she tries to give him the most sincere smile she can muster.

"Lucky you, kid, most of your cuts are superficial. No stitches!" She says, pulling an alcohol wipe to his cheek to start the cleaning process.

"Where is my sister? Her name's Kelly." He asks, and with careful concentration, Alex doesn't let her face drop.

"What's your name?" She counters, like a script. Her hands work gently around the corners of his face.

"Sean," He winces from the burn of the alcohol. "She's... she's dead isn't she?" His face is set evenly, but he doesn't seem like a crier anyway.

Alex turns to dispose of the dirty medical supplies and when she turns back she brushes his cheek.

"Yeah, she... she didn't make it. Since you don't know where your parents are, you can stay here with us. There's room and food." It's the usual speech, the one she'd been given with Justin firmly at her side, hand pressed to her back.

After she gives Sean directions to find Aimee for some dinner, she moves robotically back to her room, opening the door and not even bothering to take off her dirty clothes before she falls asleep.

Most of her nightmares are about the tournament. Every night she watches Justin die – by vine, by bomb, by trampling. She always tries to reach her magic, but she doesn't have it anymore. She can't wave a wand and say a few funny rhyming words to fix things. It's just her and the darkness now, pressing in on every side.

She remembers the aftermath of the bombing with a sharp clarity.

"Mom and dad are missing." Justin's words came heavily, followed shortly by, "The wizarding world is at war."

"What? Don't be stupid. Is this some joke? Hah hah, Max, really funny." She laughs without much humor, but when she looks back to Justin's face she realizes this isn't a joke.

He turns from her, "Max was kidnapped."

"What? Why?" She asks, lurching to stand up, but a sharp pain in her side keeps her down. She winces. A few cracked ribs, _lovely_.

"I don't... One second there was confetti and the next the explosion. The people that rescued us are an underground group. They call themselves the Resistance Army. Half of the people here are older wizards and the others are refugees like us." He sighs, turning back to face her. "This has been brewing for a while apparently."

"But who are they fighting? And why?" Alex's head throbs under the florescent lights, but her eyes don't leave her brother's face.

"They call themselves The Brotherhood. They're powerful wizards and they don't consider anyone without magic as their equals." He says simply.

Alex rolls her eyes, "When did our lives become a Harry Potter novel?"

Pointedly ignoring her, Justin continues, "They've been quietly kidnapping young family wizards to build an army for months. But Max is important to them. I don't know why, but that's why they made such a scene today. It was their first major act of terrorism."

Laying her head back, Alex closes her eyes and hopes she'll wake up somewhere else. Instead there's a creaking of bedsprings and she feels Justin's body against hers on the small cot. She opens her eyes to see him, the bruises and blood around his upper lip, and he raises his hand to her cheek.

"You're all I've got left, Alex. You're it. We have to stick together now." He says firmly. "I know you're going to fight, so I'll fight with you, but we will do it _together_. I won't let you leave me behind."

Alex thinks back to when he promised her that she could always come to him, and as she puts her own hand over his, she nods.

"I can't lose you too." He says, his voice breaking a little.

He pushes his dry lips against hers, and it's a desperate need that drives her in return. She tries to breathe him into her lungs, hungrily holding on as long as she can. Each kiss with Justin is different from the next, and maybe it's a good thing her parents aren't there to be ashamed of their intertwined children.

She wakes up at half past five the next morning, her body is sore and she moves to wash her face with the little water she has left from her last trip to the well. Her clothing options are pretty limited; black tank tops and green cargo pants for the most part. She feels like a less sexy Kim Possible when she stares at her reflection in the small mirror next to her bed.

Two knocks come from her door and she opens it to find Justin, who probably hasn't slept at all, and though he doesn't make any sign of romance, she smiles and he returns the expression. She steps out to follow him to breakfast, their arms brushing every so often.

Maybe this could be enough.

**February. **

Day to day life with the Resistance Army is pretty boring, there's not much to do beyond rationing supplies and making sure everyone is fed. Alex usually spends her mornings in the kitchen with Aimee, fixing lunches and pumping water.

"I think I could turn into a body builder if we're here much longer," Aimee laughs, her arms working to pump more fresh water out.

Alex grins from near one of the fires she's cooking at, "Oh goodie, maybe we can join the circus together!"

One of the best things about Aimee is that she doesn't believe they'll die here. She's told Alex about her dreams of leaving the camp and finding her older sisters and mother again. After her own family wizard tournament, Aimee went on the run, hoping to protect her family from her magic.

"I heard whispers," She'd said to Alex. "I knew another girl who went missing right after her own tournament, so I just grabbed all my college savings and left."

Still, it's nice to have someone close to the same age in this place with mostly older men or orphaned young children. Alex also has someone to practice designing clothes for, and she promises weekly to create an entire fashion line dedicated to Aimee if they ever get out of this hellscape.

"Mornin' ladies," Jake's familiar drawl comes from near the mouth of the kitchen tent.

As he makes his way in, Aimee blushes deeply and Alex rolls her eyes. It's painfully obvious to everyone just how far in love she is, in fact it's so blatant that even Jake probably knows.

"Hey Jake, if you're looking for grits, I told you I'm not making them anymore." Alex smirks, going to stir the large pot of beans.

"Now, miss, I wasn't meanin' no offense when I told ya that my momma's grits were better than yours." Jake laughs, his wide grin stretches all the way to his eyes.

Daily life underground in a dirty, rudimentary camp takes its toll on almost everyone who ends up there, but not Jake. Alex appreciates having someone else who loves to laugh as much as she does, and she wonders if maybe in another life she could have fallen in love with someone like him. She'll never know now, but sometimes she wishes she'd been that lucky.

"Oh, look at the menu for today! Beans, beans, spam, and more beans!" Aimee remarks, digging through the boxes of supplies.

"Miss Aimee, can't you just whip out that magic stick o'yours and get us a nice ham or turkey?" Jake asks, walking over to Aimee to help her lift some of the crates.

Hiding her red face behind her equally red hair, Aimee hands him another crate and shakes her head. Alex watches them with a pain in her chest. How nice it must feel flirt with someone and not feel guilty about it.

"Alex, y'know February is the month of love," Jake says quietly, sitting some more cans of beans next to her.

"Oh, is that so?" She stifles the memories of waking up to Justin in the early winter mornings.

"It is. So how about that date I've been askin' for? Surely you won't deny a man during a month all about lovin' each other?"

On one level she knew Jake's interest was serious, but she also knew he didn't take her constant rejections personally.

Reaching for a can opener and shooting him a sly grin, "And here I thought you knew the answer so well that you could give it to yourself. Take your beans and get back to work, Romeo."

Jake just shakes his head before retreating out of the cooking tent and Aimee rolls her eyes.

"I don't know why you tell him no. He's so sweet to you and he's got a great butt." She winks.

Alex sighs, "You know why, Aimee."

"Yeah, I do. But you've got to move on. And I know you loved your boyfriend from before, but he's gone now. I'm sure he'd just want you to be happy." Aimee has always just assumed that Alex's excuse that she lost "her boyfriend" before joining the WRA to mean he died, and Alex lets her labor under that delusion.

"Jake's not really my type. Besides, if I went after him, you'd never get the courage up to make your own move!" This shuts Aimee up and Alex is grateful for that, because she doesn't really want to talk about her love life anymore.

**March.**

A call comes into the command tower one night when Alex is working late shift. Another prison camp has been abandoned, only three survivors. Even though she knows it's a long shot, she thinks of her family. She can see them stumbling out of the rubble – emaciated, bruised, but still alive. She sees Max's crooked smile and her mother's dark hair. The statistical likelihood makes it impossible, but she still hopes.

It's not them, though, it's someone else's family. Someone much luckier than her.

Justin doesn't say anything about it, but she's positive that he's just as crushed as she is. Instead of mourning, he turns himself on autopilot and starts barking orders left and right. Alex hates this ghosted version of her brother and, once upon a time, her lover.

Truth be told, she's starting to think she doesn't know him at all anymore. When she looks into his eyes, there's not much kindness or gentleness left.

"The survivors are being taken to another base. We can't take on many more, we're running out of supplies." He says to her in measured words.

"Okay." She responds, no real emotion, and for a second, just one split moment, she thinks he wants to reach out and touch her face the way he used to.

Then Juliet comes in to ask about tactics and maps and other things that Alex can't bring herself to care about right now. Instead she leaves the room silently, seeking the refuge of an empty hallway and rests her head against the cool metal wall.

Saving the tears for later, she pulls herself together and goes to find somewhere she's wanted.

Jerry and Theresa Russo's bodies are recovered on March 15th, 2014 in a warehouse just outside of Philadelphia. Luckily Alex didn't sign up to go out on expedition that day, but when her comm goes off, she already knows what's happened.

She runs through the tunnels until she finds Justin and she doesn't give a damn who sees her fall into him so desperately, begging for it to not be true. His hands wind their way into her hair and he pulls her in closer.

"I know, I know," He whispers into her curls, the shock outweighing the grief he'll feel later.

They go to identify the bodies together, Alex's fingers still shake even in the strong grip of Justin's own. She recognizes the shape of her mother's body through the white sheet, and for once she's glad that Justin was always the stronger one.

They're allowed to bury their parents on the surface land. Although they're buried side-by-side in small, undignified graves, Aimee still brings flowers she picked and Jake has an old Bible his grandfather gave him. Justin doesn't say anything, but the tears on his cheeks mix in with the dust and grime of his new life.

The worst part is that it isn't raining or snowing, there isn't even any wind. Instead the sun hangs ever present in the sky and Alex just wants to break something. Juliet takes Justin's hand out of habit, and when he doesn't move away, the monster in his sister's chest rises up. How do you fight someone who got there first?

Instead she leans against Jake, for all the wrong reasons.

After the short ceremony, Alex turns to her brother, tears in her eyes. "Max doesn't know. He's not here... oh God, what if he..."

Quickly checking to make sure no one is around, Justin leans down to press his lips gently to her forehead.

"We'll find him. We _will_." He says it with such certainty that for a second, Alex believes him.

"I... I love you." She sighs. "I know things are different now, but I do."

Before Justin can do anything but blink under the harsh U.V. rays, Juliet comes back to ask if she needs to cover his shift in the tower tonight. Shrugging off what has just happened, he shakes his head and doesn't turn around to look at the girl who always seems to be watching him walk away.

Alex is the first to admit she's made some terrible choices. She doesn't think well when she's angry or hurt or scared. It's a safe bet that she'll run straight at the thing she shouldn't, and the night of her parent's funeral isn't any different.

During the short walk to Jake's make-shift room, she wonders if there is a Hell, and whether or not she'll be going there; it's not like it could be much worse than this life.

Jake doesn't really have time to respond when he pulls the door open, clearly not expecting Alex's lips to be pushed up against his own. She kisses like she wants to burn him, but he doesn't stop her.

When she breaks away, he looks down at her, his eyebrows scrunched.

"Now that's what I might call a mixed signal." He breathes out lowly with a twinkle of humor in his eye.

"Oh, just shut up." Alex hisses, trying to make her way back to his mouth, but Jake puts a hand on her shoulder to keep her back.

"I reckon you're feelin' pretty messed up right now, Alex. And that's okay, ain't nobody gonna blame ya for wantin' to forget somethin' this horrible," He says quietly. "But it ain't my place to take something away from ya that ya can't get back."

Alex rolls her eyes in the dim light from his lantern, "I'm not a virgin, Jake."

He chuckles and nods, "No offense ma'am, but you don't look like a virgin. That ain't what I meant no way, I was talkin' about our friendship. I like you, Alex, but I ain't dumb enough to think that there ain't somebody else." He steps back from her and motions behind him, "You're welcome to come in, but only if you'll behave yourself."

Maybe she hates him for saying no, (_why does everyone say no?_), but she still follows him in, sitting on his bed in the least sexy position she can muster.

"You wanna know why I'm here, Alex?" He asks, closing the door softly behind him.

For the first time, she realizes she doesn't know anything about Jake. She's never even paused to enquire if he had a girlfriend or wife or family. But he's still offering to tell her, all big blue eyes and southern charm. She just nods, not trusting her throat if she were to speak.

"My momma worked as a nurse down in Alabama and one day when she came on shift she met my daddy, standing over his granddaddy's death bed. When they got married things were good, and then I reckon I screwed some things up, bein' unplanned and all." He laughs a little, "But they gave me the best they could. So when I got grown I came up here for a steel workin' job, and one day I got a call from them. My uncle got himself into trouble and killed, and that's when I found out magic was real."

Alex listens with rapt attention, and even if she knows this story will have a sad ending because no one in this place is meant for a happy one, she still smiles.

"I knew they'd come for my momma next. She lost her tournament, see, and they were roundin' up anyone who participated in one. So I sent 'em all the money I had and they made for the Canadian border. I guess they got there, I don't know. I told 'em not to call or write or nothin'. I miss 'em a sight, and I don't even got a brother to lean on. I just got you and miss Aimee in the kitchen. Don't you see why I don't wanna screw anything up?" His smile doesn't really reach his eyes, it's a sad expression that reminds her of Justin all those months before he gave into her over a year ago.

"Yeah. Yeah, I do." She says back, tears in her eyes. "But you know, Aimee really likes you."

"I've noticed her lookin' but she's only seventeen, I can't be foolin' around with someone so young." He shakes his head, "She's a nice girl, though, and she's cuter than a Junebug in a jumpsuit."

Sitting up straighter, Alex looks at him with a raised eyebrow. "Who cares? No one here cares if you're older than she is! Don't be afraid to kiss her just because you think other people might think it's wrong." She sighs, "You might regret it forever."

Jake stares at her for a minute, "Maybe you're right."

They sit in silence for a few more minutes before Alex stands, ready to go and face her own almost-regret.

She kisses Jake's cheek on her way out, "Just think about what I said."

Justin's easy to find, working his way around the medical bay with a learned ease. It's hard to watch him and think that right now he should be well into his first year at med school and maybe she'd have another internship lined up. For a moment she feels like she might drown under the what-ifs and should-bes.

"Can I talk to you?" She asks when he steps away from a girl in bed five.

"Right now? I'm kind of busy, Alex," He says in that familiar exasperated tone she used to mock so often.

"I kissed Jake." She blurts out, partly to hurt him, but also partly because she wants him to wake up and see that she's still right here in front of him.

He gives her a hard stare for a moment and then drags her out into the hall, his grip not tight enough to hurt her, but she still can't pull away.

"Say something!" She says irritatedly, eyes trained on his face.

"What am I supposed to say Alex?" He finally half-yells. "I don't know what you want from me! I'm trying to do what I promised."

"Oh, don't you pull that hero crap with me, Justin. I know you better than anyone else." She snaps back, "You're so afraid of what other people would say that you won't even touch me! You'll let Juliet hold your hand over _our parent's graves_, but you check to make sure no one's looking before you kiss my _forehead_."

Pushing herself away from him, she shakes her head in bitter laughter. "It's like... it's like you don't even remember! Don't you remember the Chinese food fight we had in your apartment? That day we spent in bed watching bad soap operas just because we could-"

"Yes! God, Alex, of course I remember! I remember that night we sat outside on the roof and nearly froze to death just to see a meteor shower. But things are different now, and we can't go back to how it was before. You're acting like you're alone in this, just as selfish as ever! You can't stop and think about the bigger picture before you make a mess of things!" He shouts back at her, a vein in his neck popping out, and she shivers in the fallout of his anger.

"Well, Jesus Christ, I'm so sorry to bother you, Justin," She spits. "I'm so _fucking _sorry that I don't want to lose the only person who I've ever really loved to some tramp vampire who treated him like shit! Actually, maybe you two deserve each other!"

Justin sucks in a deep breath, stepping closer to her, his face set in a stern expression she remembers from so long ago; from before everything that happened and they became these people, standing in a dim hallway and glaring at each other bitterly.

"Don't make this about her, Alex. I'm only here because of _you_. I stay up all night in that stupid tower to keep _you _safe! I don't sleep anymore because you aren't there for me to listen and make sure you're still breathing. So you have no right to come in here and accuse me of not caring, when I don't know how to make it anymore obvious that I love you."

Alex lets her shoulders sag, the need for a fight draining out of her slowly. "I miss you."

Setting his own shoulders squarely, he turns to make his way back into the medical bay.

"Yeah, I miss you too." He says with his back turned.

**April.**

"Why do you always call him Fitzwilliam on the comm line?" Juliet asks Alex one night during a routine sweep.

Alex has no desire to answer the other girl's questions, but she still finds her lips moving and the explanation spilling out.

"Mrs. Connors said not to ever use our real names over the frequency in case the Brotherhood are listening. Instead everyone uses famous fictional characters instead. I think she was trying to be funny when she gave us ours."

Juliet doesn't say anything back, and for some reason, Alex feels like she's won.

If Alex thought the fights she and Justin shared as kids were impressive, they were nothing compared to how they now dealt with each other. Justin refuses to make any eye contact with his sister, only passing her orders on through Juliet. Alex is okay with this because she's pretty sure that if Justin spoke to her, she'd break his nose.

"Did Justin pee in your Cheerios or something?" Mrs. Connors asks, noticing the icy demeanor Alex holds as her brother enters the sick bay.

Alex rolls her eyes, but doesn't answer the question.

Scoffing, Mrs. Connors turns away mumbling something about siblings under her breath.

"Can someone pass me another stethoscope? Mine's damaged." Justin says over his shoulder, one hand already outstretched behind him.

By force of habit, Alex grabs her own from around her neck and passes it to him, their fingers brushing ever so softly. She inhales without even meaning to, a shiver running up her spine. Justin's fingers twitch at the contact, almost like he wants to grab her hand instead.

Instead he turns back to the patient and asks them to take a deep breath in.

For a split second Alex contemplates grabbing Justin and turning him to face her so she can kiss him until he doesn't care that she said such awful things, but then someone behind her coughs and she realizes that her desires aren't important anymore. Finding Max, that's her first priority.

She takes her leave, not bothering to notice Justin watching her walk away, eyebrows scrunched together.

On every third Friday marks a special occurrence in the base: a supply drop. Usually Alex stays back to help out in the kitchen, but Jake volunteers to help Aimee, a dumb grin on each of their faces. So Alex goes to the command tower to join the frontline in retrieving their package.

Justin doesn't say anything when she walks in, but he hands her a glock and she takes it as a peace offering.

Since she can't go into the sunlight, Juilet stays back to watch the radar, something Alex is immensely grateful for.

"All right, we're not going too far today," Justin says, pointing to the map on the west wall. "Just to zone three, but there's been some anti-wizard movement in the area, so those of you with wands, please be careful."

Everyone on the team nods. Zone three isn't the worst option, it's only about ten clicks away, with plenty of forest cover.

"And don't forget to watch each other's backs, there's no point in fighting if we can't trust each other." Justin says, eyes drifting to his sister.

As they head out the tower doors, Justin grabs Alex's arm, not enough to stop her, but a sign that he's there.

"I'll take care of you," He says softly, but she rolls her eyes.

"We'll take care of _each other_." She hisses back, but her words are without any real malice. He gives her a cocked grin, melting her icy indifference in a matter of milliseconds.

They manage to get to the border of zone three when it all goes to hell.


End file.
